Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
