If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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