paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
