oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
