words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
