Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
