i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
