she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
