Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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