I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We got so high we made milksteak
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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