The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think your dad took our porno
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
