Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
