So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
