We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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