the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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