WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
