Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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