Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
