If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
