I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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