He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
