I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
