I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Do vagina's smell?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
