You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
