I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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