Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Are my feet made of real feet?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
