my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So apparently I’m into choking now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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