How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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