i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
