Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
