kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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