He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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