Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
