come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
