My friends, they love my intelligence
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
