shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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