At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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