My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
