If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
