I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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