It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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