but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
