The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
