we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I enjoy the company of your penis
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