I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
