Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
