I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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