4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
