You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it's like iHOP with fire
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So. Much. Porn.
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