thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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